1. I’ve been covered in poop, pee, and puke so many times that I put GG Allen to shame.
2. I have never once hit any of my children out of anger. Lord knows there are times that I fantasized about slapping their snotty little faces.
3. I have two sets of twins, a singleton, and a teenage step-daughter. I have not been commited to a loony bin…YET. Success!
4. When sickness hits my house it’s no joke. I have a quarantine room where I banish Typhoid Mary until her symptoms subside. It’s usually a full month of sickness and I’m the head nurse on 24 hour shifts.
5. I survive bath and bed time chaos every day. I put 5 kids in the tub and them get them off to bed. If you have kids you know that this shit is no joke.
6. Dinner is like being a guard in a jailhouse cafeteria. Lots of being shanked with forks and fist fights over food. I’ve finally managed to get them to all to sit at the table which was a huge undertaking.
7. I pushed out 5 babies. Nuff said.
8. I breastfed all 5 of my kids and sacrificed having normal looking breasts ever again. Breastfeeding two sets of twins= pancake tits. I’d happily do it all over again 100 Xs. I miss breastfeeding.
9. My laundry piles would make you shudder in fear. Do me a favor and never complain about doing/folding/putting away laundry. We wash clothes for a total of 9 people. I wish a magical little laundry elf lived in my basement.
10. Because all Mommas deserve to be recognized for all the hard work and sacrifice we make every day for our children. I will continue to work my ass off so I can be the best Mommy I can. It’s the best job in the planet but also the most difficult at times. Celebrate your MOM!!! Host your own parade which just means showing your appreciation in any way you can. A parade with floats, flowers, and a marching band sound nice.