Beautiful Madhouse

I just don’t think anyone other than my husband and my teenage step-daughter fully understand what our insane reality is really like. Many of our friends get a small taste but I just don’t think its possible for them to fully understand unless you do it 24/7 like myself. My life is so full and beautiful but very far from easy. I have finally come to terms with the fact that my life was not meant to be easy. If it was I would probably be bored to tears. A life well lived is full of struggle. This struggle has earned me lots of rewards. I just wanted to share with you all a typical day in the life at my house.

5:45-6:20 Normal wake up time for the entire clan.  I usually hear the 10 month old twin boys yelling from their cribs ready to get their boob on. Bird, Haze, and Mia usually appear at the side of my bed asking me about the weather for the day. One of them usually jumps on my head and asks if they slept good last night. My teenage step-daughter says a quick goodbye and heads out the door to school.

6:20-7:00 Nursing the twin boys while lying in bed. This is turning into quite the circus show. They punch each other and try pulling on the cat’s tail all while trying to nurse. I often yelp in pain due to nipplelash(nipple still in mouth while yanking it like taffy). Twin A Mr. Luke likes to nuzzle with the cat every morning. It melts my heart every time he does this. The cat head butts him on the head and he laughs wildly.

7:00-8:30 My husband heads downstairs with the kids while I shower and brush my teeth. If I skip this step I regret it by the day’s end. Dan makes the coffee and starts breakfast with the kids. It’s like being a short order cook. Kids shout out orders from every direction. “I WANT A BANANA!!!”  ”GIVE ME TOAST!!!” “SMOOTHIES!!!” My husband handles most of the requests while I feed the twin boys in their high chairs. They are so damn messy at this age that I usually wash them down head to toe after every meal.  Let’s not even discuss the mess they leave on the floor.  It’s like a slug trail.  During all this I am shouting at our 18-year-old dachshund for scavenging for scraps like a deranged junkie. After mealtime I argue with my 6-year-old Mia about picking her outfit for school. She battles me about wearing underwear almost every god damn day. The kid HATES undies. There are usually a few time outs for at least one of the 3-year-old twins at this point. It’s usually because Birdie has whacked someone in the face. Nice. I brush Mia’s hair, load her backpack, pack her lunch, and kiss her and Dan goodbye. He drops her off and heads to work for the day.

9:00 Twin boys nap time. Nurse them to sleep. This is when I write for my blog, check FB, return emails… The twin girls are usually calmer once their big sister Mia leaves for school. They watch a TV show or play with their doll house for a bit. This is normally the calmest part of the day.

10:30/11:30  The  twin boys wake up and tear up the house with their twin sisters. Two sets of twins can really wreck the joint. I try at this point to clean up the house, do the laundry, and wash the dishes. I get all the kids dressed for the day and try like hell to leave the house for a walk or play in the park. Sometimes I give up and stay inside because it’s quite the task loading all the kids up alone. I try to make a game out of it but some days I just throw in the towel. They cry, fight, hug, play, kiss, whine, laugh, and taunt me. hah.

12:00 LUNCHTIME Feed two sets of twins. Enough said.

1:30 Twin boys nap. Sometimes I can get the twin girls to crash out on the couch but it’s rare. I have them play in the yard so they don’t wake up their brothers. Some one usually steps in dog shit or scrapes their knee. We should buy stock in band-aid and Dr. Bronner’s soap.

2:45  Load up all the kids and pick up Mia at school. It’s a 30 minute drive. The boys really don’t like the car so they scream most of the ride. Bird & Haze usually pass out for the ride.

3:30 Mia gets in and we either drive home or bring her to an afterschool class depending on the day. She has Skateboarding class on Tuesdays and MMA on Mondays and Wednesday.

5:00 Feed twin boys dinner. Wrangle kids until my husband gets home. It’s like herding cats.

6:00/6:30 My husband gets home and makes dinner.  I am the world’s most awful cook. I sometimes will order dinner if I’m in the mood for sushi.  Dinnertime is chaos. We try very hard to make this an enjoyable time.  The yelling and screaming coming from our little sunshine trolls is ear shattering. I pour myself a glass of wine. Maybe two. Depends on the day.

7:00 Bath time for the babies. Bath, PJ’s, sleep sacks, and a boobie session and the boys are usually down before 8pm.

7:45/8:00  I head out quite often at night to meet with doula clients. So the husband puts the 3 girls to bed while I’m off doing my doula hustle. The girls each require 1 book in each of their beds. Their beds are lined up in a row and it reminds me of a scene in Annie. “It’s a hard knock life for us…” My step-daughter is with us half the time so she usually retreats to her room to hide and get some quiet time once the little girls’ bedtime rolls around.

9:00 ALL KIDS ASLEEP.

10:00 Get home from meeting with doula clients. Hang with hubby for a bit.

11:00/12:00 BED

AND REPEAT…

This is a typical day. If I am off at a birth Dan wrangles all the little ones alone. Props to big Daddy for running the show when I’m gone. It’s very hard but rewarding work.  I wouldn’t change it for the world. I love my crazy life.

I obviously get tattooed to honor the birth of my babies.  I’m waiting until I stop the breast-feeding to get two traditional eagles holding name banners under my collar bones. “Lucky & Rocky” I tend to lean towards names rather than birthdate, footprints, etc. But to each their own.  I think it’s a very sweet way to honor all my babies existence. I recently got my teenage stepdaughter’s name tattooed on my arm.  I felt incomplete without her pretty name on my arm.  My husband has all of the kids names tattooed in script on his arms/hands.  I also have the greatest friends who gave me these rings as a gift  by Bittersweet. They are engraved with all my babies names on them.  I never take them off.  I guess I honor my babies through gold and ink.  I have friends that honor their babes by planting a tree or framing keepsakes to hang on the wall.  What special ways do you honor your baby’s birth?

Awhile back I wrote a post dedicated to my beautiful Mom friends and Yulady was a featured Momma in my post.  Click here to read that post.  We met at a yoga teacher training at Strala in 2010.  Yulady is 32 years young has 3 kids and 3 step-kids making a grand total of 6!!! I have always admired how much she enjoyed her life and her many children.  It made me embrace the news of having yet another set of twins.  Thanks for that lady. I don’t have many friends with 6 kids like me. Recently my beautiful friend Yulady was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and must undergo a double mastectomy.  She will also have chemotherapy and radiation. She is in for a battle but I know this lady is a warrior and will come out kicking this cancer’s ass.  You can follow her  journey via YouTube videos by clicking here.  Please send my friend Yulady lots of healing thoughts and prayers.  Love your life and appreciate every minute.  Be thankful for good health and don’t sweat the small stuff.  You are an inspiration Yulady  Sending lots of love and light.

I first want to apologize if I have ever asked you this question.  It’s none of my damn business.  I have asked this question before in hopes of expanding my parenting posse.  My intentions are always well-meaning but might be downright rude or hurtful to someone else. For that I am sorry.  I do have a handful of childless friends but this group gets smaller as each year passes.  Some of these friends are quite content not wanting kids…EVER.  I respect that.  It’s something I never thought I would want to do either but here I am loving pregnancy, birth, babies, and kids.  I’m a junkie for this Mom crap. But I should never assume that someone else would enjoy being a parent like I do.  When you ask someone the question “So when are you having a baby?”, you don’t know the person’s private history.  They may have had multiple miscarriages and have been wanting that baby more than you could ever even imagine.  Some people may be on a journey to adopt or to find a surrogate.  These are things they will share with you if they choose. Some people are %100 okay without having kids and might get annoyed at all the questions from friends, family, and co-workers. There is nothing wrong with having a dozen kids or none at all.  Different strokes for different folks.  The next time you go to ask this question maybe stop and ask yourself if it’s really any of your business.

I know I’m a day late but my week was crazy.  Here are a few shots from our day in the park on Mother’s day.  A big huge Happy Mothers Day to all of you amazing mommies out there.  Go hug your MOM!!!

Mealtime in our house is chaos.  You can’t even begin to understand the level of mayhem unless you are lucky enough (I mean unlucky enough) to have joined us for a meal.  Yesterday we went to dinner at a restaurant (not ours surprisingly) and the kids were pretty good considering their normal mealtime antics.  We had 4 adults, 1 teenager, 1 six-year-old, 3-year-old twins, and 3 babies under a year old all at the table at a local beer garden.  We didn’t get thrown out and I think our friends with the one baby still like us.  We have been taking some steps at home to regain control over mealtime and make it an enjoyable experience rather than a time of dread and many glasses of wine for mommy. So here are my 5 tips on surviving mealtime mayhem.

1. Turn off the TV and cell phones.  No mealtime texting, tumblring, or facebooking.  Limiting distractions helps you and the kids focus on mealtime.

2. Consistent mealtimes.  As much as I rebel against schedules and structure my kids respond very well to knowing when their meals are.  It has reduced snacking and has made them better eaters.

3. Have the kids help you set the table.  Get them involved in picking out plates and silverware.  Make a game out of it and put the fun back into family dinners.  We let the kids jazz up their drinking water with berries, cucumbers, or lemons.  Surprisingly this has helped us to eliminate juice consumption in this house. BONUS!

4. I give the kids smaller portions so it’s not too much to ask them to finish their meals.  We have a rule that you must try everything on your plate.  If you don’t like something after trying it you don’t have to eat it.  I refuse to battle my kids about what they eat.  Everyone gets the same meal and there are no special orders.

5.  Trying to get my kids to stay in their seat throughout an entire meal seems fucking impossible.  This is where we struggle the most.  My kids love playing musical chairs and stripping down naked during mealtime.  I am starting to implement time-outs for straying from the table.   It’s hard for me to enforce this one because I’m usually feeding the 10 month old twins and get easily distracted.  Making the kids use the bathroom before meals and making sure water, extra silverware, and food is already on the table.  This makes it so there are less excuses to get up.  I’m working on this one.

Since we started following these 5 tips our mealtimes have gotten almost enjoyable.  Teaching my kids manners at the table is a whole other issue that I am not yet ready to tackle.  If my husband doesn’t chew with his mouth shut what makes you think my kids ever will?

Cheers.