Okay ladies and gentleman I know I fall victim to most of the things that I am listing below but I love making fun of myself and the hipster folk that surround me. If you live in Williamsburg Brooklyn you know exactly what I am talking about.
1) You have named your child some ridiculous new age hippie dippy name and/or an old lady/old man name that you would imagine an 100-year-old senior citizen having. Naming your child after a rock musician or an animal is also a huge part of being hipster parents. Hello Birdie & Hazel…..I certainly fall victim to this one. Crap.
2) Your and your kids wear matching American Apparel stretch pants. (Yep done this one too.) The hipster family wears matching converse and/or Vans. Dressing your child becomes an obsession to the hipster folk. You definitely notice the competition on the playground catwalk. ”Oh, my kid’s clothes are all vintage…blah blah blah.” “Crew cuts had a sale.” “His neck bandana is soo…cute.”"Did you hear about the Petit Bateau sample sale?”
3) You talk about the local schooling choices all the fucking time. You are always trying to find the most progressive education for your gifted little monster. Don’t get me started on the whole G & T business. Hipster drama people. For real.
4) Your kid has much better taste in music than the average joe. The hipster baby grows up singing the lyrics to the Descendants and ACDC. I see a guy around the hood sporting a Minor Threat patch sewn onto his baby bjorn. Most hipster parents have brought their kids to more than a dozen concerts before the age of 2. Welcome to the outdoor family concert hipster picnic.
5) You have a love/hate relationship with Yo Gabba Gabba. You know all of the lyrics and are familiar with 99% of their special guests. The show was made for you as much as it was made for your kids. True story.