Beautiful Madhouse

1. I’ve been covered in poop, pee, and puke so many times that I put GG Allen to shame.

2. I have never once hit any of my children out of anger. Lord knows there are times that I fantasized about slapping their snotty little faces.

3. I have two sets of twins, a singleton, and a teenage step-daughter. I have not been commited to a loony bin…YET. Success!

4. When sickness hits my house it’s no joke. I have a quarantine room where I banish Typhoid Mary until her symptoms subside. It’s usually a full month of sickness and I’m the head nurse on 24 hour shifts.

5. I survive bath and bed time chaos every day. I put 5 kids in the tub and them get them off to bed. If you have kids you know that this shit is no joke.

6. Dinner is like being a guard in a jailhouse cafeteria. Lots of being shanked with forks and fist fights over food. I’ve finally managed to get them to all to sit at the table which was a huge undertaking.

7. I pushed out 5 babies. Nuff said.

8. I breastfed all 5 of my kids and sacrificed having normal looking breasts ever again. Breastfeeding two sets of twins= pancake tits. I’d happily do it all over again 100 Xs. I miss breastfeeding.

9. My laundry piles would make you shudder in fear. Do me a favor and never complain about doing/folding/putting away laundry. We wash clothes for a total of 9 people. I wish a magical little laundry elf lived in my basement.

10. Because all Mommas deserve to be recognized for all the hard work and sacrifice we make every day for our children. I will continue to work my ass off so I can be the best Mommy I can. It’s the best job in the planet but also the most difficult at times. Celebrate your MOM!!! Host your own parade which just means showing your appreciation in any way you can. A parade with floats, flowers, and a marching band sound nice.

I know I’m a day late but my week was crazy.  Here are a few shots from our day in the park on Mother’s day.  A big huge Happy Mothers Day to all of you amazing mommies out there.  Go hug your MOM!!!

In true Lindsey form. Always a lady.  Valentines Day happens to be my wedding anniversary.  In this post I am going to list some gift ideas for your loved on Valentines Day.

• A date.  One where a sitter is called and it’s just the two of you. Even if you are low on cash it doesn’t need to be a fancy restaurant.  The fact that you get a quick break from the kids and get to be a couple instead of a pair of referees is priceless.
• Jewelery.  We love getting pretty shiny things.  I love Catbird  for all of my jewelery needs and desires.  In God We Trust has these great heart shape pendants that you can have engraved in script.  Definitely one of my favorite gift ideas.
• Chocolate.  You can never lose with chocolate.  Splurge on the good stuff.  My favorite is Mariebelle.
• Flowers.  Roses. Nuff said. Can’t really mess up flowers unless you buy those ugly carnations that are dyed hot pink and blue.
• Pretty panties.  Please make sure you get the right size.  There’s nothing worse than trying to put on a pair of beautiful underwear only to hear them rip.  Not so good for the old ego either.
• Last but certainly not least.  Make something.  A painting, a poem, a song, a jewelry box (my favorite gift my husband gave me), or a home cooked meal.  Just show them that you care.  Put a little effort in to it.  It matters.   I buy into all this Valentines Day hype because I think in our fast paced lives it’s nice to have a day dedicated to showing your love to your partner. XOXO

I found Miss Mia ohming on the couch today like this.  Poor thing is looking for a little peace in her life.  It’s a bit of a chaotic mad house here and I wonder sometimes if it can be affecting my kids in a negative way.  I know there are moments that the volume level is through the roof.  I’m pretty used to shrieking, yelling and crying in joy and/or protest. I wonder if they crave some more quiet time for themselves each day.  My five-minute shower means more to me than you would ever know.  It’s my own little piece of quiet me time.  I think there may be a light at the end of the tunnel because I was able to take a 90 minute Bikram yoga class today in my hood.  My body was extremely out of shape but my mind can endure anything.  Even in 105 degree heat.  It was the first time in a really long time I did something for myself.  Shit I even missed my kids a bit.  If you have 1 or 20 kids you need to make some chill time for yourself.  It’s essential in keeping your sanity.  It can be such a struggle to find this time when you have a new baby (or 2).  Next step is finding some time to go out with my husband.  You become more like co-workers sometimes with all the diaper changes, baths, prepping meals, and baby juggling.  It’s work.  It’s nice to be a couple.  So find time to chill people.  It will do you and your family wonders.

My 5 year old daughter is still asleep and it’s 10 am New Years day.  We let her stay up with a few of her buddies and ring in the new  year.  Out for the count.  Wish I was sleeping this peacefully right now.  I actually had a couple of drinks and roasted a few marshmallows with some friends last night.  It was a really nice.  A year ago this day I was in the hospital welcoming a beautiful baby boy with his excited momma and papa.  Happy Birthday Leo! This year has just whizzed by.  Such highs and lows all in the same year.  My top highlight of the year was the beautiful home birth of my twin boys.  They are such precious boys.  I really feel like my family is complete now. My new mission is to rekindle my yoga practice.  My goal is to go to 3 classes a week.  I think regaining a little bit of me time will do me and my family a world of good.  Happy Mommy happy family. I’d like to lose my muffin top too.  Dang twin pregnancies.  My husband Dan is planning on competing in an Ironman triathlon  in August.  His goal for the new year is to compete in this crazy person race. 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike ride, & a 26 mile run. Geez.  I wish him luck. Dan has always been a man of extremes.  I am excited to start this year focusing on health and family.  I am cutting back on my sugar intake and replacing the kids juice with chamomile iced tea.  A nice calming start to the year.  Wish me luck!

(Me at 38 weeks pregnant in June 2011.)

That’s an understatement.  This year was the most eventful year of my entire life.  It started with my close friend’s home birth of her son Skye.  It was a really amazing way to start 2011.  So filled with hope and new beginnings.  I watched my dear friend become a mother and it was beautiful.  I may have been a little extra connected considering I was pregnant with my twin boys and hormones were running high.  My husband Dan found out in January of 2011 that he would be having 2 sons after 4 daughters.  I know that news made his year.  We bought a new home  in April which was very exciting and very stressful. Moving pregnant is not so much fun. Dan worked his ass off and got the house ready to move into in a month. It was definitely a year of new beginnings.  We downsized unexpectedly this year as well.  Our cat Louie Balls went berserk on the kids and attacked 2 year old twins Birdie and Hazel for no reason.  I knew that with two more babes on the way that he may be happier in a kid-free home.  I thank our friend Jessie for taking him in and loving the shit out of him.  The cat is happy as can be and our kids are not afraid of  him latching onto their faces and making them bleed. Perfect solution.  We also lost my chubby English Bulldog Maggie on Thanksgiving day.  Poor girl was just old and reached her expiration date.  Still coming to terms with this huge loss to our family.  We made up for the downsizing by having my new twin boys, Rocco and Luke in July.  I spent most of this year either pregnant or with newborn babies.  I was able to have a beautiful home birth and welcomed them into the world peacefully.  I am the luckiest woman in the world.  My sister Rachel had her own joy this October and married her boyfriend Chase.  They had a beautiful wedding in Rhode Island.  We were all able to attend. I was her maid of honor.  I mean the matron of honor.  My new family of 8 was there to support and witness their union.  Yet another new beginning.  This holiday season brought us many blessings as well.  We were able to spend quality time with friends and family.  Dan’s mother and Aunt got to meet the new boys for the first time.  It was nice to have their company and much appreciated help.  Dan cooked an amazing dinner on Christmas and we had a great day shared with family and friends.  This year had a lot of crappy things occur as well but I can’t let those things/people bring me or my family down.  It’s the negative people and energy that makes me appreciate all the good friends I have.  You know who you are my lovelies. I’m extremely grateful for all that I have this year.  2011 was full of amazing gifts.  I am now hoping I can start 2012 with yet another beautiful birth of a friend’s identical twins.  They are expected within the next few weeks.  It will be such a great way to start the new year.  I’m not sure if 2012 can top 2011 but starting it out with witnessing the birth of twins sure makes me think that it might.  I hope everyone has an amazing year to come.  Appreciate your gifts.  Try to rise above negative energy and people who try to suck your life force.  Cheers to new beginnings!

Happy Holidaze everyone.  This is a picture of our house in Queens.  Dan got very Clark Griswald this year.  We fit right into the neighborhood this year.  I have completed almost all of my holiday shopping.  No easy task considering I always have at least two of my kids with me at all times.  The 5 month old twins have become my shopping buddies.  I was shopping last week lugging around my double snap and go stroller (I hate this damn stroller), and I lost my cell phone in a department store.  I’m a fool and I didn’t save my photos or videos from my iPhone to my computer.  All of the pictures from the first days of my sons lives.  The video of my twin homebirth was on it.  I started to sweat and had to choke back my tears.  Calm down lady.  So I asked where lost and found was and it was there!!! Thank you karma.  I hope that the person that returned my iPhone is rich in good fortune because I was so happy and relived to have my precious videos and images.  Could you imagine the person that decided to check out my birth video?  I wish I had the guts to post it.  Maybe one day.  I have spent the last few days taking care of our old man dachshund Louie as well.  The pain meds and steroids are really upsetting his belly.  I had to carry him outside to do his business and he sprayed poop all over me while I was carrying him.  Real pretty picture huh? Covered in baby drool and dog poop. Tis the season to be jolly.  It’s also a bit of a challenge to wade through the holiday madness on very little sleep.  For the first time in months the boys slept great last night.  Only waking up at 2 am for a feed.  I’m sure I just jinxed myself.  My close friend just brought home all 3 of her new triplets.  I’m sending her tons of warm wishes and thoughts.  The first few weeks of sleep deprivation with twins were the hardest for me.  I’m sure it’s quite a challenge with 3!  I will definitely follow this post with one on infant sleep. Probably later this week.  The one thing that keeps my holiday spirits lifted is my friends and family.  This year has been filled with some major ups and downs.  I’m not sure what I would have done without my true real honest to god friends (and red wine).  That they are still willing to listen and hang out with me and my half-dozen kids is beyond me.  You guys are what keeps me going.  Many thanks.  The holidays and the approaching new year always get me thinking of the past year and the year to come.  Its been an amazing ride.  Buckle up because I’m sure 2012 will be even bumpier.  Joy to the world!